Nuke it from orbit

Yesterday was not fun. All weekend my computer had been running slow, freezing up, and generally acting sick. I backed up all my files and sent up the bat signal to ask for some help from the Geek Squad. Nothing is stranger than seeing your cursor move around and open up files when you aren't touching the keyboard.

Over the course of 4 hours, 3 different agents discovered a virus, a strange file in my registry, some weird files labeled in Chinese, and the fact that I was missing important updates for Vista. The final agent suggested that I reboot the whole system from factory specs. Ouch! Then he told me that he does this every six months to prevent the kind of stuff that was affecting my computer. I mean even Firefox 3.0 wasn't working properly. I guess that should teach me not to visit skeevy websites.

I then spent the next 3 hours wiping my laptop back to the stone age, I mean factory specs, and downloading all the freeware that I had lost. I must have restarted my laptop more than 20 times over the course of the day. The Geek Squad did a good job wiping out the weird stuff, I just wish I hadn't had to wipe the slate clean.

Teleporting & Viruses

This Wednesday I took a trip to Nelspruit to mail off 2 boxes of books. As I stood in line at Ressano Garcia border crossing on the return it really hit me. I have only one month left here in Mozambique. People have been asking me about leaving now for the past couple of months, but until I got that stamp it really didn't register that this was the last time I would be crossing into Mozambique at this border. I will be going to Kruger for a conference later in April, but I will cross the border in the park.

I will miss Mozambique. To tell you the truth, the only parts about the US that I have missed are my family and friends, and my washing machine. I will miss my friends here in Mozambique. No, I should say extended family. The communities of Madjadjane and Gala accepted me, taught me about their history, culture, and life with patience and generosity, helped me when I needed it, warned me to be extra careful in South Africa, were concerned when I was sick, shared what little they had, offered to build me a house, and asked me not to leave. I sometimes wish I had a teleporting machine or a portable hole that would allow me to travel easily from one country to another.

They (whoever they are) say that you can never really leave Africa once you have lived here. That it is a virus that infects your blood with longing. There is more than a grain of truth to this I think.

Viral Infections and Unprotected Connections

Getting sick when you are far from home and family really sucks. But I think having a fever and runny nose in the sub-Saharan savannas of Mozambique is worse than having it in the sub-Arctic scrublands of northern NY. Worse than ice and snow and stuffy heads and fever? Yes, because if you are burning with a fever in nothern NY in the middle of winter at least you can open a window to cool down. And in the summer? You can still find snow in the freezer (you didn't think we actually got snow on the 4th of July did you?).

Remembering my misery last time I had the flu in Mozambique, I brought drugs from home to dry up my nose. Last time, all my Mozambican friends kept telling me to use a handkerchief. Ick! I don't advocate using a forest to blow my nose, but carrying around a snot-laden square of cloth in my shorts pocket (that I reuse again and again) to wash out later is disgusting. Thank goodness for toilet paper.

The drugs work really well, but leave me unable to process coherent thoughts. I am surprised that a colleague agreed to meet me for lunch on Wednesday after speaking to me on Tuesday. I think I literally asked her, "What is lunch? Why would I need a lunch? Is lunch a good thing? Would my mom think a lunch was good for me to have?" Finally, I just ended the call by saying I was too confused to think and that I would call her the next morning. Fortunately, she speaks English and I had prefaced the conversation by saying I had the flu and was running a bit of a temperature (100F). I can only imagine my response in Portuguese. Actually, it might have been more coherent than I normally sound in a regular conversation. I really don't remember. If you talk to my husband Chris he'll tell you that I frequently use fevers as an excuse to make up bullshit stories. Maybe I used telepathy to ask her, but I do remember thinking those questions at the time.

After spending Tuesday in bed with a fever, I made the most of Wednesday by going out to lunch with my colleague that had called the day before, and cleaning a virus off my laptop hard drive. I do a regular security check once a month, but this was not a regular check. I've been having some trouble with my flash drive and printing at the US public affairs office. So I was aware that something weird could be on it. When I opened my flash drive at home Wednesday morning, to add another file for printing, there was an unknown folder waiting for me. Of course I clicked on the folder because I love spending an entire day debugging my laptop. Well, 17 hours 30 minutes later I was bug free (my fingers are still crossed). The UGA technology support webpage was really helpful - lots of links to free software. I would have eventually stuck the infected flash drive into my laptop's usb port, but I would like to think I would have been more careful with that file if I hadn't been under the influence of cold and flu medicine.

So what did I learn? Lay down, when I start talking incoherently and asking for my mom. Lunch is a good thing, but don't agree to anything or do anything under the influence of cold and flu medicine. Never stick your flash drive in an unprotected socket. And always use protection even in places you think you're safe - like a US government facility. Viruses are everywhere.

Zulu Love Letter