17 May 2007

Getting By With A Little Help From My Friends

The past few days have been rough. I haven't been sleeping or eating much. And I really haven't been motivated to work at all. My entire situation would normally trigger a plummet into the depression that accompanies me everywhere. However, this morning I woke up feeling tired, grey around the edges, but otherwise okay. My Dad's condition is still unknown, but I don't feel a midnight blue. So what's different?

This time I told lots of people about how I was feeling in my blog. Normally, I bottle up everything and dump on a select few. Chris usually shoulders the majority of my burden, and for that I am very sorry. Everyone else gets a smile and absolutely zero knowledge of how I am truly feeling. (A psychologist I once consulted termed me a smiling depressive and said it was difficult to believe I had problems. That was my last visit with him.) But this time, it was too much to deal with on my own.

Of course, I have spoken with Chris and my brother Wil, but they are family and know how I can be. I love them dearly, but I am slowly coming to realize that with really big stuff, sometimes it is good to have more than one or two people to lean on. They get tired. Shared burdens really are easier to carry.

In the past three days, I have had concerned emails and instant messages from friends all over the world and even a phone call (on Skype). There hasn't been any pity (which would have made me crazier); just a concern about how my Dad is and how I am doing, and whether there is anything they can do to help. Thanks everyone. Just asking is a big help. It has really meant a lot to me. You have done a good deed, and hopefully, someday I will be able to return the favor.

1 comment:

  1. Jen, have just caught up on this news as we have been traveling. Glad to hear there's been support there for you, even when you are so far from home, and I hope you hear something definitive soon.